Mene ne ya fi raba masoya a wannan zamani?

Abubuwan da suke raba masoya a kowane lokaci suna da yawa, amma a tawa fahimtar mafi girma kuma wanda ya haɗa da ƙananun shi ne:

Chanjawar Ra’ayi:- Abu ne mai wahala a ƙulla soyayya ba tare da ra’ayi ba, wanda kuma wani dalili na musamman ne ke haifar da ra’ayin, misali kyau, kuɗi, nasaba da kuma addini, kamar yadda Manzon Allah Sallallahu alaihi Wasallam ya ce “Ana auren mace ne don abubuwa huɗu, na farko nasabarta, na biyu kyawunta, na uku dukiya, na huɗu kuma addini..” sai Manzon Allah Sallallahu alaihi Wasallam ya cigaba da faɗin “Na hore ku da ma’abociyar addini, sai hannunku (Zuri’arku) su yi albarka..”, don haka idan mutum mai ra’ayi ko kwaɗayin ɗaya daga cikin waɗancan abubuwan ne, to yana cin karo da mai irin wannan siffar zai iya kamuwa da son ta/sa, don haka soyayya tana tafiya ne tare da ra’ayi, shi kuma ra’ayi yana chanjawa ne idan mutum bai samu abin da yake tsammanin zai samu ba, ko kuma idan ya samu abin da ya fi wanda yake da shi.

Bari in bada misali da dukiya, domin ita ce abin da mutanen wannan zamanin suka fi ruɗuwa da ita, kuma suke gina kowace irin tarayya a dalilinta, daga maza har mata kuwa. Yayin da masoya suka gaza samun abin da suke tsammani na dukiya, toh soyayyarsu zata iya wargajewa, ƙila mace tana tsammanin wanda take so yana da dukiya sakamakon wata siffa ta masu dukiyar ta bayyana a gare shi, sai kuma ta gane ba haka bane, ko kuma ta samu wanda ya fi shi, toh zata iya chanja ra’ayinta a kan soyayyar da take mashi, tunda dama wannan ne dalilin (Kwaɗayi) da ya sa take son shi, shi ya sa idan zaka so mutum ka so shi domin Allah.

Haka a ɓangaren namiji, ƙila yana tunanin wadda yake so suna da dukiya a gidansu, da zaran ya gane ba haka bane, zai iya gudunta, tunda dukiyar ce ra’ayinsa.

Ba wai dukiya kaɗai ba, kowane dalili da aka gina soyayya a kanshi, rashin samunsa, ko kuma samun wanda ya fi shi na iya chanja ta.

Addini ne kaɗai baya chanjawa, saboda shi ba a cika yi mashi kwaskwarima ba, shi ya sa Manzon Allah Sallallahu alaihi Wasallam ya ce “Na hore ku da ma’abociyar addini..”

Akwai wasu dalilai kuma da su ma suke raba soyayya, wanda basa daga cikin waɗacan, wato shisshigi ko cusa kai, sannan akwai son kai da kuma wuce gona da iri. Sanin kanmu ne kowa yana da iyakar da bai son a ƙetare masa a cikin lamuransa, toh wani ko wata da sun samu an ƙulla soyayya da su, sai su fara ƙetare iyakar abokin soyayyar, a ganinsu an zama ɗaya, zasu iya yin yadda suka ga dama da wanda suke so, kuma ba haka bane, asali wannan dakushe kaifin soyayyar yake.

Akwai rashin uzuri ga juna, duk tarayyar da babu uzuri a cikinta da wahala ta ɗore, don haka yana da kyau ka fahimci rayuwar wanda kake so da kyau, sannan ka tsaya a daidai iyakar da ya shata maka layi, sannan ka yi mashi uzuri.

Babban abin da kuma zai riƙe soyayyar shi ne a gina ta domin Allah.